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In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
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Emulate your heros, but don\'t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
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The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
Smith & Wesson ? the original point and click interface.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
But at my back I always hear Time\'s winged chariot hurrying near.
Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
I\'m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
If you\'re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
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USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
If you\'re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
War doesn\'t make boys men, it makes men dead.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
We didn\'t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
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Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn\'t understand me.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
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If it wasn\'t for muscle spasms, I wouldn\'t get any exercise at all.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Louis Pasteur\'s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
I\'m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
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If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
I\'m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there\'s no law against whacking them around a bit.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
Many a man\'s reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
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UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
I don\'t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called \'Ego\'.
I\'ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn\'t it.
I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
War doesn\'t make boys men, it makes men dead.
Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
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I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
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There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
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The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
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I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
They laughed when I said I\'d be a comedian. They aren\'t laughing now.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
Don\'t drive me crazy -- it\'s within walking distance.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
Don\'t drive me crazy -- it\'s within walking distance.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
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Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
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I am not young enough to know everything.
Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Everybody\'s worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there\'s a really easy way: stop participating in it.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
The truth is more important than the facts.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
It\'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it\'s the size of the fight in the dog.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse\'s family too.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
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Ever notice when you blow in a dog\'s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
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You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don\'t think.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
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They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he\'ll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
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A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
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Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
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Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
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Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
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The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
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Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can\'t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
After I\'m dead I\'d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
If quantum physics doesn\'t confuse you then you don\'t understand it.
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Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
I think \'Hail to the Chief\' has a nice ring to it.
I\'ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You\'d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
I hope life isn\'t a big joke ... because I don\'t get it.
I\'m trying to see things from your point of view but I can\'t get my head that far up my ass.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn\'t understand me.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/29/(Sun) 06:14
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